(v 20 - 28) "What do I want?" This is the question you must ask and keep firmly within your mind in all things. For you will see and experience that which you want, because it is that which you have chosen to experience. And you must be given that which you have chosen to experience. Within your mind there is a wish. It is a protected and denied wish, and yet it is a wish that has been very dear to you until now. This is the wish that you could be that which you want to be. This is a wish that wishes for change within the Changeless. And so this is a wish that asks the Changeless to be what it is not. This is why you feel that you have stolen yourself from God. It is because you have asked that you could be what you are not, and then you made a web of beliefs cast upon a fog and a shadow, that you may experience that which you want to experience.
You must see and experience that which you choose to see and experience, because you wanted it so, and so you made it so. All that you have given, you have given unto yourself, so that all that you know has been a gift given unto you and given by you. If you choose to lay your experiences aside and choose the experience of welcoming the Light, you must choose to lay your secret wish aside as completely undesired, and you must choose to welcome the Light as all that you want to know and be. The question that you must ask yourself, and that you must continue to ask yourself, and the question that you must hold firmly within your mind is this:
What do I want? What is it that I truly, within the depths of my heart, seek as my only experience? Do I seek the changeless truth of all that is? Is this what I would know? Or would I have my own kingdom rather than know that I am King?
(v 29 - 33) Within your mind is a universe you have made. This universe is a concept, made of concepts, made to block the Light. It is through this universe of which you believe that you deny that which is true. But the universe you have made is not truth. It is a block over truth, intended to hide the truth from you so that you may pretend the universe is truth and the universe defines all that you are. In this wish, you are limited by your wish. And so your own wish hides the truth of what you are.
Let go of the universe you have made. It is nothing of reality. It is only a joke that you have made of yourself and for yourself. However, you are not finding it to be funny, so why do you hold onto your joke?
(v 34 - 36) Darkness is of your own choice, because darkness is the universe that bides the truth. The universe is a darkness you have made. You have made the darkness, and so you can choose not to look at it, not to listen to it and not to let it be your limiting universe anymore. But to do this, you must welcome the Light. In the Light, you can see. It will guide you to let go of the darkness by showing you that darkness cannot exist within the Light of which you are.
(v 37 - 50) You must trust the words that come from My mouth, because they are the words that are written upon your Heart. Trust your Heart. And in trusting your Heart, you trust Me also. For we are the same, and we are all things, and we are the truth, and the truth is written upon us as a witness to all the world. The Light is our glory, and the Light is us and within us and we are within the Light. For the Light is inseparable from us, and us from each other, and we are inseparable from the Light It is all things and in all things, and all things are in it. This is the truth you try to hide. But this is the Light that must not be hidden, because it is the Light that cannot be hidden. And so it does not hide.
NTI John, Chapter 13
(v 1 - 17) Service is surrender. It is surrender to the Light that will make the Light known to you. To surrender to the Light is to become one with it, which is to lay aside any will that would seem to be different.
You experience the world that you experience, because it is your will to do so. To experience a world that is different from the world that you experience, you must take up another will as your own. This is service, and service can only be fully accomplished by the full surrender of the will you are not to serve. For will must be a leader, and you must be a follower. To serve the will of one is not to serve the will of the other. So you must pick the one you will serve and relinquish the other.
There is only one choice that you can make if you are to be an un-conflicted servant. You must serve the Light, because the Light is present in all things. The Light is the one eternal Will. To serve is to serve the Light. For to be conflicted is not to have decided, and so it is not to have made the choice to serve.
Joy comes from the choice to serve, because the choice to serve is the choice to relinquish conflict.
(v 18-30) The conflicted servant cannot know joy, because he has not made the decision to serve, and so he must be unsettled in his heart. For he knows he is a servant and he knows it is his will to serve, but he has not matched his will to his Will, and so he seems to betray himself.
Fear not. Confusion cannot last. Confusion calls out to be healed, so that all confusion calls to the one Will that would heal it. That one Will is the alignment of will, without the conflict of a separate will to confuse it.