(v 14 - 21) Jesus was aware of doubts within the minds of the apostles, but the doubts did not concern him. Jesus' vision of the face of Christ was nearing its fullness, and his heart was filled with love and peace at all times. Yet, he knew the apostles' doubts concerned them. For in their minds, they had given up much to follow Jesus. They sought fullness in faith that their choice had been the right one, so their doubts concerned them gravely.
One night, Jesus spoke to the apostles about their doubt. He explained that like the Pharisees who had questioned him, doubt could blind them to the reflection of Light within their minds. But he also explained that their doubts did not take the Light away. "The Light is always within you," Jesus explained. "And like yeast that has been placed in flour, this Light expands within your mind, even now, as you doubt.
"Those the Father has called to do His service will follow their call. For they can do nothing else. The desire is strong within them or they would not have heard the call.
"Let your doubts not concern you. They are merely fear, and fear is nothing, so it cannot hold you back. Look at your doubts and lay them aside, that you may continue the work your Father has called you to do."
(v 22 - 26) Everywhere Jesus went, he helped people to see differently. As he taught with joy, touching many people, the apostles began to see differently too. More and more, the apostles began to seek private counsel with Jesus to discuss their fears and doubts. Jesus responded lovingly with every discussion that was brought to him. Never did the apostles feel judged, increasingly, they became aware of a new sight, a way of seeing the world that they hadn't known before. As this new sight filled their hearts with joy, they became increasingly committed to doing the work of their Father.
(v 27 - 30) And so the time came that Jesus again talked to the apostles about their doubts.
"Who do people say I am?" Jesus asked.
The apostles answered with rumors they had heard while teaching. There were many perspectives among the people, but no one seemed to know the truth.
"And who do you say I am?" asked Jesus.
"A great teacher," answered Thomas quickly. "A master in the service of our Lord."
"Peter," Jesus asked. "And you. Who do you say I am, Peter?" Peter was quiet for a moment before answering, reflecting upon the answer that had been given him in his mind. "You are me, master...the Son of God...the Christ. You are one who has learned this awareness, and so you share it with us, as Thomas has pointed out."
Jesus smiled. "This you did not learn from men, Peter. This you learned from the Voice of our Lord within. In trusting this Voice, you have shared a great truth."
Jesus spoke to all of the apostles. "The Voice within will lead you clearly when you give it your trust and put your doubts aside. It will reveal truths to you that you have not imagined, and so you will know they are true. And even as this Voice speaks, you may hear another voice that brings doubt and fear. Place that voice aside, for the voice of fear will cloud the vision of Light and hide that Light from you. But when the voice of fear is let go, the Light will shine to place Heaven within your sight.
"Truly I say to you, watch the thoughts within your mind. Choose what you will believe carefully. For what you believe, you believe in Heaven, although it may hide Heaven from your sight." The apostles understood Jesus' words, although they did not all believe them.
(v 31 - 38) Then Jesus talked to the apostles about transcendence. He talked of transcending fear and doubt, and he talked to them about transcending death.
"If you believe your doubts, you will surely die. For doubt is what ties you to this world. Doubt is the fear of God, born of guilt. One who knows guilt cannot know Heaven. To know Heaven, you must overcome your doubt and belief in guilt. You must let go of the self that says you are guilty. For in losing this self, you gain Life. But in keeping with this self, you die."
The apostles did not understand, so Jesus explained further.
"The mind of man is split. One part of the mind is focused in the world of sin and death. This part of the mind sees sin and death, because it believes it is guilty of being separate from God. In its aloneness, it suffers.
"The other part of the mind is not alone. It knows no separateness. It knows Itself as one with God and all men. You have seen this vision in your work, and so you know it is within you.
"The part of the mind that knows aloneness is like a dark cloud hanging over the world and making it dark. As you see the darkened world, you believe darkness is all there is. But beyond every dark cloud, there is light. It is the Light that is eternal.
"The Light is also within your mind. Focus on the Light. Love the Light. Pray unto the Light and worship the Light within. Through practice, your awareness of the Light will grow strong, and it will give you the desire and strength to overcome guilt, doubt and fear.
"Hold to the Light in all things. It is the way to Life."