WHAT a long time it takes us to understand the will of God!
You often use the phrase, "I have made up my mind." This has a great deal of meaning, if you pause to consider it, for in that very process you begin to bring into manifestation the desire of the mind. Thus you say: "I see a wrong condition in my mind, my mentality, my circumstances; I will make up my mind, this shall not be." You mentally set in motion the forces of the universe, seen and unseen, to accomplish your will.
You see, it is impossible to live carelessly or lightly on the spiritual plane, and these lessons would be of no use to any one who has not been aroused to true spiritual consciousness, the consciousness of the divine humanity, the I AM. How can the will of God be expressed except through life, through humanity, in the hearts and minds of beings who exist in Himself? There. fore know that the will of God is operative in yourself.
Then how is it that the things we will and desire do not come to us, you may ask.
Because deep down in all your desires, thoughts, and purposes there is an undercurrent, as it were, the thought within the thought, the desire within the desire, and what you most truly desire is always at the root of all your fleeting impressions and moods of the moment. Have you not often felt that the very thing you desire is not for your eternal good? Well, that very glimmer, that faint suggestion, is from the self of you that is making your life. You know within yourself the very quality, the very experiences best suited for your highest good. Once you give full play to this subtle suggestion behind all your thinking, you are one with the will of God, which is your own will. This is the voice of the spirit, heed its whisperings. Do not sin against the Holy Ghost, or you will lose eye and ear and become blind and deaf. On the plane of the senses this is most disastrous, because you are just where you are to do the will of God. It is your meat and drink. So delicate and so subtle is this holy inner voice that you must be very quiet and meek, if you would hear it. Let Jesus speak to you again and again, read the Gospels until you are led more and more to remove the veil which hides you from your true self. I have only answered your question, but hope to speak to you again on this subject.
Peace, Heavenly Grace. God lives in you, He is your life.